


Orders are orders

by Najelen



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:32:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Najelen/pseuds/Najelen
Summary: Orders are orders, it doesn’t matter that he loves him.





	1. Orders are orders

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my debut with this pairing, and I'm already deeply sorry for this drabble...
> 
> Um, please, enjoy...
> 
>  
> 
> \+ Thank you [Lacerta](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacerta/pseuds/Lacerta) for being an awesome beta-reader!

 

 

Another whiz of a whip and another small whimper he couldn’t withhold escaped his cracked lips. It was hard to count how many times he went through this, especially with the lowered number of his fingers. And it was even more difficult to tell how many more awaited for him in the future.

The weight of someone’s stare prickled his skin, so he tried to lift up his heavy eyelids. His vision was blurred, dark spots were creeping on its peripherals, but he had to meet those eyes. These cold, dark orbs that used to send his way warm and affectionate gazes, that used to greet him almost every morning - now they were emotionless. Was it better than the disgust and hatred, that showed through them sometimes? Better than the look of betrayal?

 

But what else could he, a caught mole, expect?

 

 

***

 

 

“Is there anyone else?!” later replaced by “Who is it?!”, as they confirmed the presence of another intruder in the Organization. Those words, and some unrefined threats and crude orders, were all he heard during his imprisonment here. Those, and, of course, the obscene noises his body made, while they kept breaking it, pushing it to its limits.

There was, however, one red-letter day. Jinyoung, his lover and now, his executioner - how the fate could be twisted sometimes - came to him, and asked one more question.

“Why? ” His voice was flat, yet demanding. The man wanted the truth and his former beloved one was ready to give it to him.

“Orders.” It was a short answer, but there was simply nothing more to say. They both understood. Orders were orders.

It was the only time he saw something similar to hurt in Jinyoung’s expression.

 

 

***

 

 

They tried to trick him. Did they really think that threatening Jinyoung would convince him to spill the beans? Jinyoung was too valuable for them to dispose of him, it was obvious that he wouldn’t seduce an ordinary Member, after all. And on the other hand, why should he care about the man, that kept torturing him for the past few… days? Weeks? Maybe they would have been more successful if they’d tried that earlier, but he doubted it.

Jinyoung was always a great actor, he really looked shocked when they brought a gun to his  temple, giving the tormented prisoner an ultimatum. Giving away the traitor’s identity or watching his lover die right in front of his eyes.

That was actually funny, he laughed at them so hard that he started coughing blood. One of the broken ribs might or might have not found its way to his lungs. And he knew that this time, he wouldn’t be treated. He read it in Jinyoung’s eyes, now full of anger and annoyance, most probably invoked by the failed attempt. The man was a perfectionist and every failure was something he couldn’t deal with easily.

In the end they gave up on him, he was a lost cause, too stubborn and too dedicated to the cause to care about his own life. They were no longer going to waste the meds to keep him alive.

 

 

***

 

 

The most cruel way of dying would be to let him kick the bucket from the countless wounds and injures. Leaving him alone, forgotten, impatiently waiting for the end. It would be the most painful and slowest solution. And yet, the most dangerous one, because as long as he was alive, he was a threat. So they chose another option, though not less cruel than the first one.

Did it matter to him that it was Jinyoung that was about to pull the trigger? Apparently it did. Even though he craved death with every fiber of his worn out body, he was even more thankful that it would be his lover that would grant it to him.

If they thought it would be his last punishment, they were wrong again.

His sacrifice was essential for the victory. For the last time he looked in Jinyoung’s eyes, trying to send an encrypted message: his infinite love for the younger, a bit of fear of the unknown, forgiveness, and immense happiness that the pain would be finally gone.

It was a confession, thanks and a goodbye. The soft flash in the younger one’s eyes was a proof that the message was received and understood. So he closed his own eyes, smiling in his thoughts, imagining the bright future waiting for the Society. He was calm, because he succeeded with his mission. And what’s more important, thanks to proving his unswerving loyalty by killing him, Jinyoung would be promoted, finally being able to destroy the Organization from the inside.

And it didn’t matter how much it hurt both of them to play this sick game, orders were orders and freedom was worth every shot.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought about writing a second part of this, from Jinyoung's perspective. It would be a little longer (I guess?), but I don't know if I should. People usually don't like angst ^^' I'd add it as a second chapter to this if you'd like to, so let me know! ^^


	2. Why did you do this to me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here's the 2nd part some of you wanted to read!
> 
> First of all - it's something way different than the 1st chapter. It's not a drabble, more like an actual story (~3.5k vs. 800 words!). Here comes everything (and more) I came up with writing the 1st part. I did want to use it there, but I couldn’t. That’s why I wrote “Why did you do this to me?”. 
> 
> The events are not in chronological order, but I hope it won’t be confusing. It’s also written in Jinyoung’s pov. 
> 
> I know it may not be what you expected. I’m sorry in advance then. If you don’t like it, feel free to forget about it and focus only on the 1st chapter. Yet, I hope you’ll enjoy the story!

 

 

 

 

Mark had forgiven him. To be honest, the elder probably had never blamed him for anything in the first place. Then why, even after so many years, couldn’t he forgive himself? They won, what else could he wish for? How much was the life of one man worth compared to the whole Society? But for him, the price of the victory was too high. Even now, every time he looked in the mirror, he saw the monster he’d once become – heartless, soulless and cruel beast that had tortured and had killed the love of his live.

 _I miss you, Mark…_ A broken sob escaped his lips, when he slid down along the wall, face hidden behind trembling hands. _I’m sorry, I’m so sorry_ , he kept repeating in his thoughts, crying his eyes out.

 

 

***

 

 

He didn’t have to fake the anger when he was destroying his office after his first “session” with Mark. Nothing breakable he laid his eyes upon survived the onslaught. He was screaming in rage, though in his ears it sounded more like the howl of an injured animal. They thought he couldn’t accept the fact he had been fooled. The man they knew would never forgive himself for being tricked that easily by a mere twink. Oh, how wrong they were.

He didn’t know how they could have even caught Mark. He was one of the best, heck no, he _was_ _the best._ That’s why he was sent here in the first place, right?

 

 

***

 

 

He missed his boyfriend. The last time they’d seen each other was on New Year’s Eve almost two years ago, right before he’d joined the Organization. Earning anyone’s trust was a very, _very_ long-term assignment. They both had known what they’d been getting into, yet soon the sporadic contact through the classified channels wasn’t enough. He made a quick career, climbing higher and higher up the Organization’s ladder, though that fact didn’t matter to him anymore. He wanted to see Mark, to kiss him, to touch him, to hear his voice and his high-pitched laugh.

He craved this so much that he thought he was day-dreaming when he spotted a familiar figure in a group of new recruits. _Mark?_ That young man looked exactly like his boyfriend would look like with ash-blonde hair instead of fiery red Jinyoung remembered from the day of their parting.

And yet that bright, toothy smile couldn’t be mistaken. _Mark!_ It was him, it really was. _But what is he doing here?_ Said man tilted his head, like he could hear Jinyoung’s thoughts and sent him a cocky gaze.

“I want him,” Jinyoung pointed at his lover. One of the guards responsible for the newcomers motioned Mark to come closer.

“Name?” The man barked, but the blond didn’t seem fazed by this behavior.

 “Tuan Mark, nice to meet you, sir!” Came a clear and bold answer. Small smile rested on recruit’s lips. Jinyoung almost chuckled. Oh, how much he had missed the voice and the sassiness of his lover.

“Park Jinyoung, I’ll be your mentor.”

 

 

***

 

 

 _Why? -_ he kept asking himself since that peculiar day. Since the moment he’d been, all of sudden, called to the dungeons, where he found his boyfriend, beaten up and chained. The shock and surprise on his face weren’t pretended. He had no idea what was going on

 “He was caught spying. He’s a traitor.” The voice of his Grand Superior startled him. The panic rose in his chest, making breathing impossibly hard. _No, no, no, no… This can’t be true, this can’t be happening!_

“I hope you know what to do,” the elder man continued spitefully. Jinyoung only nodded mechanically, not daring to get out of his role for a single second. “He’s all yours, as he’s always been.” Hideous grin appeared on the man’s lips. He walked towards the exit, stopping by the door to spit on the prisoner.

They were left alone, except for the all-pervasive cameras, monitoring everything and everyone all the time.

Mark looked at him with a small, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. His lover looked extremely calm, like he’d already accepted his fate, but Jinyoung didn’t share his peace of mind.

The younger man back-faced the camera, and mouthed ‘me too’ as he raised his hand for the first hit.

_Why did you do this to me, Mark? Why?_

_***_

 

Why did Mark join the Organization? He was trained as a Ghost, not an undercover agent. His usual job was to enter and exit without a notice but with every possible information. Maybe the Leaders needed a constant access to more classified materials and it was easier to put a Ghost in here for good.

And there was that strange behavior. Wasn’t their relationship supposed to be a secret? It could blow up their cover, it could be used against them if anything happened. Then why was Mark so stubbornly trying to “seduce” him?

Their “growing” affair quickly became a hot topic in the Organization. Not like Mark wanted to be discrete, flirting with him every possible time, being cheesy to the point that everyone around would make funny faces when seeing them together. It made Jinyoung anxious and irritated, he hated not knowing what was going on.

Only when he heard the soft “It’s okay, relax,” during their first passionate night since the reunion, he knew everything was alright. They were allowed to love each other, neither their Leaders nor the Organization had nothing against it, as long as they were both dutiful.

Both formations were well aware of the worth of this feeling.

And precisely that was what tore the lovers apart.

 

 

***

 

 

Blood. On the floor, on his clothes, on his skin. The puddles, numerous droplets and splashes of blood. An echo of screams. The image of his lover’s face, barely recognizable under many bruises and cuts. Constant pain hidden in his eyes. The nightmares were haunting Jinyoung daily, without fail.

3 years. 3 beautiful years they managed to survive in this hell together, put to an end by a stupid mistake. _Why? How?_ He still didn’t know.

His hatred towards the Organization and himself kept growing with every hit, every burn, every broken bone and every torn-away finger. So did his frustration, when he couldn’t find the answers he was looking for. Leaders were silent, Mark was only screaming, and he was getting insane.

 

 

***

 

 

Their last date was scheduled exactly the day before everything crumbled. He should have sensed that something was off. Mark wasn’t his usual self, or rather he was too much of himself – extra loving, extra caring, extra affectionate. He organized everything too perfectly.

They visited the most private place they could find without any suspicion – a long forgotten movie theater. They watched a couple of old movies - a rare privilege for these times - munching popcorn and cuddling.

Later on, Mark brought him to an abandoned park for a surprise picnic, nonchalantly waving off Jinyoung’s question about a source of all those delicacies. It had to cost a small fortune. They enjoyed the food and each others’ presence till the stars showed up on the sky.

“We need to come back,” Jinyoung broke the comfortable silence. It was getting cold, though Mark’s body spooned around his own was protecting him from any chill.

“Don’t wanna,” Mark muttered, nuzzling his nose in younger’s neck. “You’re too comfortable.”

“We can cuddle naked in our bed.” His proposition was brushed off by stifled, incoherent mumble. They stayed like this for next fifteen minutes.

“Seriously Mark, we shou…”

“I love you.”

He smiled to himself before he turned around to face his boyfriend. “I love you too,” he answered kissing elder’s forehead. “I’ll always do.”

“Me too. Remember Jinyoung, no matter what will happen, I will always love you,”  Mark emphasized his confession with a forceful, passionate kiss. Jinyoung - caught off-guard - almost missed the tears in other man’s eyes, but he didn’t question that. The world they lived in wasn’t a safe place, everyday they were exposed to an extreme, life-threatening risk. Mark’s strange attitude, like there was no tomorrow for them, didn’t bother him more than his usual worries.

How could he be so blind?

 

 

***

 

 

“Why?” He finally decided to ask Mark. He needed to know the truth. Why did Mark commit suicide? After days and days of analyzing, he was sure it couldn’t be an accident. His lover _let them_ catch him red-handed, there was no other explanation. But why?

“Orders.”

This short answer struck him like a lightning bolt. How could he have been so stupid?! How could he not have realized it earlier? Or maybe he’d known from the beginning, but he didn’t want to accept the reality.

Of course it was a part of Leaders’ plan. And he knew exactly what they expected from him. He wasn’t able to hide the hurt. He felt betrayed by those he trusted most. He might have understood why he had to go through all of this, but it didn’t mean he would ever forgive them. The Leaders might fight for the right cause, but their methods were as cruel as the Organization’s.

They planned everything ahead. Mark and he were never meant to be together, no matter how many promises they’d shared before. Mark had always been supposed to be a scapegoat, and his – Jinyoung’s role – was his Executor.

Because what’s a better way to prove his endless loyalty towards the Organization than showing he valued it higher than his one and only lover? That he wouldn’t back off and stay loyal no matter what?

 

 

***

 

 

“You should have used me instead of… _this_ ,” he complained looking with disgust at his stained clothes. They called one of their regular meetings devoted to Mark’s case before he could clean himself after his session in dungeons. He loathed them. He loathed himself. He loathed those who forced him into what he was doing.

“What do you mean, Jinyoung-ssi?” One of the supervisors asked curiously.

“I mean you could’ve used me to convince that pathetic traitor,” he made a face saying two last words - he hated bad-mouthing Mark, “to tell us what we want to know. But now it’s pointless,” he finished, sighing deeply. He had to play along, to keep his image even if it meant giving those monsters the most precious person in his life. _For freedom_ , but this excuse wasn’t convincing at all, anymore.

“Then why didn’t you propose that idea earlier?!” the man that ordered him to torture Mark attacked him.  _Perfect._

“Because that idea flopped the moment I hit that shit,” another grimace, “for the first time,” he defended himself, indirectly attacking the other man. “I doubt anyone would care about their torturer, even those idiots who dare to spy on us.”

“Then why did you hit him, when you had a better idea in your mind?” Came another question.

“Orders,” he briefly looked at – now angrily red – his Grand Supervisor. “And he’s a traitor, he deserved that. He deserves all of this.”

_The only thing Mark deserves is the whole world._

 

 

***

 

 

Sometimes Jinyoung wondered since when Mark knew about the Leaders’ plan. Had he agreed on a suicide mission even before he’d joined the Organization or had he received all the information only a few days in advance? Had they given him the exact orders about the date and circumstances or had he got only vague directions? Had he, unlike Jinyoung, had time to come to terms with the command, had he ever doubted or hesitated?

 

 

***

 

 

The day they put his impossibly delayed plan into action, he was on the edge of madness. It was pointless. During moments like this Jinyoung questioned the Organization’s ability to rule the World. He’d told them this idea wouldn’t work now, were they that desperate? Then again, they had nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

When Mark started laughing, Jinyoung wanted to know the reason behind it. Was it because they decided to go with it so late? Or was it the irony of the situation? Giving away traitors identity definitely wouldn’t help Jinyoung at all.

Sudden cough and blood spitted on the floor brought him back to the reality. He was angry. Looking at his lover in such state made him see red. He wanted to rip to pieces every single person responsible for this. The fact that he was one of them was sickening him all the time.

However, he knew it was the end. He knew that this was their last effort to get the information. His job was done. No more pain, no more torture, no more screaming. It was over. Finally.

 

 

***

 

 

Mark had never complained during their sessions. Of course, he couldn’t always withhold his screams or cries, but it was obvious he was trying to stay strong. Why? Jinyoung didn’t know that, either. Maybe it was for him, to ease him his duties. Or to protect him. Maybe it was for Mark himself, to build up an image of a tough guy. Nonetheless, it wasn’t helping, it only forced Jinyoung to go further and further, destroying someone who had been once a wonderful, cheerful person.

 

 

***

 

 

He should be glad they decided to cut Mark’s misery. He should be glad they let him die quickly, without lengthening the pain. But why should _he_ be the one doing the “honors”?

He couldn’t do it. He had to. Somehow he wanted to. To end this. To end the misery, not only Mark’s, but his own too. Was he a monster? He felt like one. He was doing this for the whole Society, yet for once in his life he wanted to be selfish and run away with the person he loved. It’s funny. He was able to torture Mark, to bring him on the verge of death numerous times and now he couldn’t pull the trigger, he couldn’t cross that invisible line. Killing was easier that torturing, it should be. He though it would be. It was quicker, less painful. Why was he hesitating?

A pair of dark brown eyes was trying to tell him that it was ok. That the man kneeling in front of him had no regrets, that he didn’t blame him for anything, that he loved him no matter what. And that he _wished_ to be dead. Jinyoung stood there torn between half a dozen of different emotions. He hated the fact he had to take someone’s – _Mark’s_ – life. It wasn’t fair. He wasn’t a killer. Well, he could comfort himself that Mark was dead the moment he got caught. _But it’s still me who’s pointing a gun at him._ That that shot would end the pain, would free the man. _And not only him._ That it was what Mark wanted. _But it’s still so fucking difficult._

The awareness he would never again be able to see Mark. To talk to him, to touch his face, to ruffle his fluffy hair, to kiss the little mole on his chest, to annoy him using too sophisticated language during simple talks, to tease him, to laugh with him, to… There would be nothing. Emptiness. A broken heart. A destroyed man, longing for nonexistent alternate past or future. He didn’t even get chance to say goodbye…

The moment Mark closed his eyes, Jinyoung knew he had no rights to drag this away. He was cruel in his selfish attempt to get as much of his lover as he could, prolonging the inevitable. It was the only way he could repay Mark for everything he put him through. He fought back his tears forcing himself to focus on the ‘bright’ sides of this deed and pulled the trigger.

He had never heard anything as loud as that gunshot. Maybe except for the following thud of the body hitting the ground. His head was spinning, he couldn’t catch his breath, his stomach was twisting like he was going puke anytime. But nothing in his posture displayed that. Jinyoung was indeed an excellent actor.

He put down the gun and turned to his supervisors, who came here for the show. “Done,” he concluded unnecessarily.

“One spying scum less,” one of the elders chipped cheerfully, giving him a wide smile. Oh, how much he wanted to punch that woman right in the face. Instead, he returned the grimace.

“Yes, indeed.”

It was Mark lying there lifeless on the ground, so why it was him who felt so dead inside?

 

 

***

 

 

Mark became a hero, Jinyoung took care of that. He wanted everyone to know how much his lover had sacrificed for the Society, how brave and selfless he’d been. Though the whole story wasn’t revealed, people learned about Mark and the man he’d loved and got killed by, however Jinyoung’s identity was hidden behind an infamous title of the ‘Executor’. Not that he was afraid. Some of the Members were still alive and would happily take their revenge on him, albeit he wasn’t sure if he would even defend himself. He felt like he deserved everything they could throw at him. No, the true reason why he’d never made his name public was shame.  He was ashamed for what he did. It was for a better cause, but still it was eating him from the inside, not letting him sleep at night.

Some people called him a hero along with Mark, pitying them for their tragic story. He thought it was a disgrace for Mark’s memory. Others called him a monster, not understanding how he could have treated anyone the way he had. Especially the person he claimed he loved. That was a group he himself belonged to.

He stood in front of a huge monument in memory of Mark in the centre of the rebuilt city. Boyish, toothy smile carved in a stone didn’t do justice to its amazing archetype, but it was still enough for Jinyoung to feel the dull ache in his chest every time he looked on the sculpture. It was impossible to retrieve Mark’s body, so there was no real grave he could visit. He came here instead. Once in a month, during the monthly “anniversary” of their last date, he brought a bouquet of flowers. This time - anemones.

For the first few times, he was only able to stay there staring at Mark’s forever young face. Unable to move, say or do anything. Later on he could only cry, all the tears he hadn’t been allowed to shed years ago were flowing in a never ending stream. Now, he was coming here to talk. To tell Mark about the bright future they brought for the people. He knew his lover would have been happy that everything had worked out.

It was getting late, so he decided to head home, though it was only a word describing a place he lived in, without any usual warm feelings associated with it. He stood up giving a last glance towards the sculpture. “I love you, Mark,” he muttered and turned around, almost knocking out a little girl standing behind him. “Oh, I’m sorry young lady,” he apologized smiling softly, but the kid was glaring at him with a wide open mouth. That expression was quickly replaced by a pout and glassy eyes.

“You…” the girl started, but seconds later a little body collided with his own and a pair of small hands hugged his legs. He panicked a little, not knowing what to do. He heard a quiet “thank you”, which confused him even more.

“What do you mean?” he asked the girl. She finally let go of his legs, so he crunched down, to look at her red and puffy face.

“I mean thank you,” she stated, rubbing her eyes.

“For what?”

“For everything.” At this moment he knew this little girl had overheard his confession, but it was still surprising that she could connect all the dots. Or maybe she was just guessing? A female voice caught their attention and the kid sprinted towards its source. She hugged a young woman, probably her mother, and Jinyoung could see the excitement radiating from the child, when she was telling something to her relative, pointing at him and bouncing on her feet. The young woman looked worried at first. She looked at him shocked, eyes full of surprise, but then a warm smile appeared on her face and she nodded silently in gratitude. Or maybe it was only a “hello” but still, he felt something warm spreading in his chest when he watched the family walking away, small hand waving him for a goodbye.

They did it. Mark had played a huge role in this success, but so had Jinyoung.

 

Maybe he should forgive himself after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
